Personal Experience Essay - NYU Clive Davis Institute
At the Clive Davis Institute, in addition to coursework focused on professional training and your development as a creative entrepreneur, you will be spending three to four years as a scholar taking a wide range of challenging liberal arts classes. Please understand that large amounts of reading and writing, commensurate with university level study, are assigned and required each semester. Writing is an integral part of our curriculum. To graduate from the program, you must succeed intellectually as well as creatively. With that in mind, write a two-page essay describing a personal experience where you faced a significant challenge, or challenges. Did you overcome these challenges? If so, describe how. Are you still working through these challenges? If so, describe your approach and process. What lessons have you learned facing these challenges, and how have these lessons impacted your personal growth?
Finding myself whilst growing up in the Republic of Panama and experiencing both sides of education in a developing country has been my biggest challenge yet. I was born in Brooklyn, New York, and moved to Panama soon after my fifth birthday. Getting acclimated to the language or culture was never a problem, as my mom strictly spoke to me in Spanish and my dad in English since my birth. Nevertheless, when it came to fitting in, I couldn’t seem to get it right.
During my early elementary school years, my classmates were disgusted by the food I brought for lunch and snack from home. They made me feel terrible and prompted me to throw my food away at lunchtime or simply bring it back home.
My mom helped me overcome this challenge. One day, she organized a picnic during lunchtime where everyone was able to try some of the food that I was used to eating. My classmates ended up really liking my food, and they even started asking me for some afterward.
This experience showed me that foul treatment often stems from ignorance, but more importantly, it taught me that I have the power to change perspectives through education.
My biggest conflict, however, was yet to come.
I always say that my life truly changed when I realized that I was Black—when I was made aware of my Blackness. It happened around sixth grade, when people started developing crushes and relationships became part of everyday life.
After some time, I questioned why no one had a crush on me and found myself comparing myself to the girls everyone admired. The only difference I could identify was that I was Black and the only Black girl in my class.
My suspicions were confirmed once I heard someone say, “Alessandra is pretty, but she’s Black.”
Hearing those words was devastating. It was heartbreaking. It was soul-crushing.
As a result, I built walls rooted in anger so that no one could see my sadness. I began trying to seem "less Black." I distanced myself from my culture and embraced what was considered mainstream. I remember only listening to primarily white pop artists, even though I had always loved Hip-Hop, Reggae/Dancehall, Jazz, R&B, and Salsa.
It reached a point where I hated being Black.
Dealing with prejudice and living in a country where originality is often shunned made being different the last thing I wanted. Being Black frequently left me feeling lost, ugly, and unwanted.
Things began to change when I discovered Nigerian artist Yemi Alade.
Through her artistry, I started appreciating my Blackness through music. Yemi wore extravagant hairstyles, beautiful prints, and exuded confidence. Most importantly, she was accepted.
It was then that I fully immersed myself in music created by Black artists. Through those discoveries, I became more comfortable in my own skin. Intellectually and emotionally, I learned to see my ethnicity as an asset instead of a liability.
Incorporating my Blackness into everything I did became my goal, especially in the performing arts. I traded ballet for Hip-Hop, incorporated Motown and R&B into my classical voice lessons, and became involved with civil rights.
Although I continue to face challenges related to my Blackness in school and social gatherings, I have developed ways to keep my head held high.
Instead of thinking, “They’re all looking at me because I am Black... I shouldn’t be here,” I now think, “Yes. I am Black. I am supposed to be here. And while I’m here, let me blow your mind. Look at what I can do.”
As I often find myself in predominantly white spaces, I no longer make myself smaller. I make myself larger.
I let every part of me take up space—my 4C hair, my colorful prints, my bold jewelry, and, most importantly, my voice.
I allow myself to be heard and to turn heads because I have important things to say and new ideas to explore.
Every negative experience I have had has become another small bottle of gasoline fueling the fire that keeps me alive, engaged, and motivated to create art that heals, educates, and changes perspectives—not only for myself, but for others.
